Untapped Balls

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Willamson

I know. Crazy long quote...but if you read it, then it probably hit your right in the center of your insecurity as it did me.

(Don't worry. I'm going to get to the "Aunt Jemima" chick in the earlier post. Gimme a minute to warm up and let it breathe ...as Mary said.)

I'd heard this quote before, and when I heard it, I thought it to be utter bullshit. Why? Because my deepest fear IS that I'm inadequate. It's always been that. You know...not good enough to _________ or smart enough to ___________ or creative enough to____________or talented enough to___________. You get the picture.

Now, I belived this whole heartedly, so much, that I'd actually stopped myself from doing shit that I KNOW I can do. So much better than those who ARE doing shit...mind you. (You know what I mean, don't you?)

Driving for instance. (Insert laughter here and maybe a smirk if you really wanna be an asshole about it.)

I honestly think I was crippled by the idea of driving because 1) I don't have a car and 2) I don't need one and 3) I may crash and not only kill somebody, but myself in the process.

...However, I had no problems with being drunk (really drunk) in third world country, dancing in a street river of sewage and dirt, with absolutly NO ONE around me who spoke a drop of English. The point is...there are balls I have that are untapped.

And so do you. They are big, hairy, swinging and hanging out like an old drunk Italian man wearing boxers...sitting on a small stool. (I don't know where that image came from. It just fit. Rock with it.)

So a couple of weeks ago, I'm watching Oprah and not working (shhhh) and she's rocking with this follow up show to a book she introduced called "The Secret". Guests are nodding together and smiling...sorta the way J.W's do when you say the latest issues of "The Watchtower" was fascinating. (It's OK. I can eff with the J.W's. My dad's one and so's Prince. I've got an honorary membership.) And since I'm a sucker for self help (and Oprah...keepin it real) I read the book.

The "Secret" isn't a secret at all.

The premise is "The Power Of Attraction", which, we already knew. Shit. My Mom taught me that a long time around. "You are who you hang around." Or... "Birds of a feather flock together." Or "Karma's a bitch." All the same thing.

Whatever you put out into the universe is exactly what you'll get back. If you hang around rapists and cannibals (combined or otherwise) eventually, you're gonna want to try ignoring "no means no" and frying up some brains with fava beans a nice Chianti.

The point is...like attracts like. If you're into wealth and fine dining, eventually, you'll attact that. If you're into sex and drugs, guess who your friend will be?

But this isn't just about people. The book takes it even further, in that they believe the actual thoughts you think manifest.
So if you say "I'm a loser, and I'll always be a loser." Guess what you'll be until you change that thinking?

Once upon a time, a producer asked me, "So what's your story? What do you do aside from this?"

I answered, "Well..I write."

He said, "You write, or are you a writer?"

I thought about it and said, "I'm a writer." Cuz fuck that. I am.

Guess what I've attracted?

Yep. Other cocky writers who don't do shit about it either.


So, since it's a new day, and it's almost the end of Black History Month and all...I'll try something new. Something that black people as a collective haven't seemed to be able to do.

And fucking believe it.

Because it's already true.


As for the silly bitch in the pancake outfit...

Well...she's no more delusional than a woman in the projects rocking a fur coat...who thinks that's life at it's BEST.

Thought I was going somewhere else with that, didn't you? Yeah...well it's the same thing. That pancake outfit is going to hold her back in ways she could never see right now.

Hell. It's not a secret if everyone knows it.

-Nye

Coming Soon...

Sorry guys. I've been preoccupied.

Break ups, Black History Month and my nephew's tattoo have taken up alot of my quality time. I know. Quick way to lose you.

But never fear...I'll be back soon. Like my new look?

In the meantime...discuss her silly ass..and I'll tell you where I found her.

HEAVY SIGH...

See you soon.

-Nye