If what they say is "Nothing is forever" then what makes...what makes..what makes...love the exception?"- Andre 3000
Friends. How many of us have them. Friends. Ones we can depend on. Friends. How many of us have them. Friends. Before we go any further lets be friends.- Whodini
Believe it or not, I've actually been dumped. Not recently...(ha ha) but it has happened. On the other end of the spectrum, a time or two, I've also ended dating-ships and have gotten no objections when I dropped the hammer. (Those are the best. Ego crushers, sure,...but easy nonetheless.) Sometimes, the break was due to incompatibility. You know...bad timing, different goals, want me to be your everything, you're cheap, sex sucks...etc.
If I had to make a prediction about my future, I'm pretty sure I've, up till now, doomed myself to a lifetime of serial monogamy based on my beliefs.
Not really "Beliefs". More like "Beliefs Formally Known As Shortcomings".
Cuz I'm an asshole at times. (Somebody tell the Amen Corner to quiet down over there...) And I'm so fine with it...but every now and then, those "beliefs" come and bite me in the ass. And when your "beliefs" start crossing over to your friendships and you're not Archie Bunker...it's time to re-examine.
I have a few friends who... OK. I have a lot of friends. I know a lot of people. However, like most people...I have my "Starters", "Bench" and a few "Wildcards".
Starters... I don't even have to mention ya'll. You know who you are and have info on me that might make Paris Hilton blush.
Bench....you guys get a feeling who you are but I'm not going to blow you up, cuz yu might think you're a Starter.
Then there are the Wildcards. These are people I don't talk to on a regular, but damn it...I feel kinda special to know them. And because I don't speak to them on a regular... I'm really aware of the shit I do with them...and the excuses I make to cover up when I'm not giving them love right back. So this one is for you Wildcards.
Sonya -
So she comes in...loud and smiling. Smiling hard. Cheshire cat kinda smile. She knows something you don't. She's found the secret to joy...and it's Jack Daniels. Super Jack Daniels. And after about a few umtillion of 'em, she whips out her backcrackin table...and if you let her..she's re-adjust you, tell you why you chew harder on your left side and the reason why your Momma left your Daddy when you were three, all from rubbing your left earlobe. Then, she'll secretly get your address, send you cds full of music you've never heard of...for no reason at all. Just because.
This is my friend, and she does this, without knowing you for more than a week. Just because. And I forgot to wish her a Happy Birthday. (Happy Belated!) This makes me inconsiderate.
Shellena -
The southern drawl will crack you up. The sleepy eyes combined with the southern drawl...you might think this is overkill...but it's just her. The sweetest woman you'd ever meet. Oh..did I mention she's a looker? Always looking for love, and the wrong one always seems to find her. She's come to New York to visit me in every location I've lived in (that makes four times) over the course of our ten year friendship and I've gone to Tennessee to visit her...never. This makes me selfish.
Dele -
OK..the girl is just stunning. She'll smile and light up rooms. She'll always call for a quick get together when she's in town. Never loses touch. Thinks I'm a brilliant writer and tells me so over and over again. Takes in my whole life story and listens...offers WISDOM...not advice. Always shouts me out on my birthday and initiates get togethers...always. I've imitated get togethers...never. This makes me lazy.
China -
There's a featherbed I lie on daily that she gave me. And an expensive scarf. And countless bottles of wine. And she's fed me. Like...A FUCKING LOT. And listened to me bitch and moan about dumb shit. And she left the country. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Her only request... upgrade her computer and send it to Africa...free postage. I sent the computer to my guy in IT...they took FOREVER to upgrade it and one year later...it's now in my office. It's a dinosaur, making the upgrade kinda useless. This makes me a procrastinating punk.
So to all my Wildcards (and there are more, but these are the ones I've been particularly shitty to...) here is my public apology and something to make you feel better.
In no particular order: I'm selfish, a bit lazy, inconsiderate, and asshole and a procrastinating punk...and you've only experienced one of these wonderful traits for yourself, consider yourself lucky. Roll all that up and you're in a relationship with me.
Anyway, I know I can be a better friend and I'm sorry.
I'm trying out a new belief system. Hope you like it. Besides...the bench needs to be shaken up anyway.
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