"Train him I cannot. He has no patience." - Yoda
The Empire Strikes Back
You know, I can't lie.
I'm not motivated at ALL to get this damn driver's license.
I just thought about this while I stared at this blank page for ten minutes thinking, "what should I write."
And the truth is, I had nothing.
Nothing.
Because at this point, the very beginning of this 8 week challenge, I feel I should have some sort of motivation.
And I'm having trouble finding it....so I'm hoping that somewhere along this challenge...it'll find me.
So I got the book...and the permit forms and as soon as I cracked it open, I could just feel my eyes glaze over.
I was reading the literary equivilant of "The Peanuts" teacher's voice...but with symbols.
And just like one of the Peanuts, I fully understood, but wasn't paying attention, because, though I'm sure all that information is crucial to my becoming the greatest female drivers since Danica (...see? My NASCAR hotel paid off...) I just don't think it's...I don't know...FAIR ....that most of the drivers I KNOW ignore a good 75% of the shit that's in the book.
I mean seriously. We know the basics. Stop. Go. Yeild. Hospital. Children Crossing. Hill Ahead. Sharp Curve. Amish. (In Delaware. I swear...this is really a sign.)
But aren't these basic symbols something you learned in ...oh, I don't know... the first grade? And yeah, I'm sure this is for new Americans who may not be familiar, but can they get another version with all that elementary stuff and just give me the book with the good parts?
Like the weight of a baby vs. the type of car seat you should use?
Or the maxium alcohol level I can get away with consuming before I get myself knee deep in some serious accident bullshit?
Or, when bad guys are chasing you, how to spin that bitch into a 180...put the car in reverse, drive backwards with your right hand steering... shooting with your left...hitting every target, then spin that bitch another 180...while putting the car back in drive then hauling ass... with a stick shift.
Yeah. What page is THAT on?
But still...I read on. Or try to, eventhough this book is making me want to make paper airplanes from the pages, because that's the ONLY way this is gonna be fun.
And I notice, by the time you get through the mundane stuff, shit gets complicated.
If you enter an intersection from the far left lane, what should you do? BUZZ! WRONG...you should NEVER be in your far left lane unless you are going straight ahead or are making a left turn. Oh. You were making a left? You CAN'T...it's a one way street! You didn't know this? Then I suggest you read this chapter again you simple bitch. DO NOT move on till you've mastered this quiz.
So I closed the book and just said...screw it. I'll wing the permit test. Worked the last time.
And then suddenly, I realized something very disturbing about my "jack of all trades...master of none" attitude.
I don't finish a damn thing...and that's exactly why.
Somewhere along the line, I get bored. REALLY bored. I end up with a bunch of "started..." and not a lot of "finished".
The goal list gets checked off every now and then...and it's usually because I made a revision that made the task less daunting. Actually, I'd adjust my goal to meet my level of effort. You know. Shoot for the stars...but if I only make it to the moon...not bad for a days work.
And I figure, unless this book is made into a full length feature starring Adrian Brody as "Guy trying to get his license" ...
I may not make it all the way through...which says a lot about my scholastic performance. But that's neither here nor there...as my Mom would say.
So now that I've owned up to my crap...it's time to do something about it.
I picked up the book, put it my bag and head to work...only to instead, pull out Dan Brown's book and continue on the journey to find out why in the hell the Illuminati want to destroy the Vatican.
Heavy sigh.
Well..it's do or die time kids because MONDAY...ready or not, I take the permit test. (Again.)
And seriously, nothing is more embarrassing than not passing the permit test. Nothing.
So if you're still with me...I'll send you the time and location.
Oh..and I hope your Thanksgiving was beautiful.
Mine? Yeah. It was.
-Nye
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