The Cure

You know how "The Secret" made all this cake by jacking common sense? Well...I'm a little short on rent this month too...so I'm going to come up with my own "Secret".

It's called "The Cure".

And it's not based on common sense... it's what you were taught when you were a kid.

Here it is. Are you ready? Two words.

Immature cruelty.

But it's used for good....pinkie swear.

Let me explain.

You know how you have those days when shit just won't go right... and try as you might to be optimistic, you just hate everyone. Know that day? Yeah. Yeah. Me too.

But what do you do? Be optimistic? Sing "No Day But Today", and hope the sun will come out...tomorrow? Sure. You could do that...but you know what is even MORE fulfilling? Name calling. Yeah...

Now let's just say that your day is just leaning on you, like a sleeping fat person on the train. And during this day, there's just ONE person in particular that you wish would get shit on by a pigeon.

Yeah. You know who it is...but what do you do about it?

Well...the way I figure, having that kind of projected resentment towards a person isn't healthy...and if you hold it in...you'll spew that poison onto someone who doesn't deserve it...like the bitch with the really bad make up at Sephora. ...ahem.

So to "CURE" you of all that attitude sickness, here's all you have to.

Go Grade School on 'em.

Sing a nasty song about whoever you are hating at the moment...insert their name and VOILA!....you will be cured by the time you stop singing. Believe me...it really works. Really.

For example....

I'm off to Paris in a few days and Judes' boss won't let him go.

I'm really fucking pissed at her.

So, instead of just being angry...I've decided to sub "Kyle's Mom" with "Judes Boss" in this little diddy.

And to get the full effect, don't be shy. At the end...you HAVE to do the big finish. You HAVE to.

Oh..you'll also have to squeeze that name into two syllables. For example...Jennifer Lopez becomes J. Lo...George W. Bush gets shortened to "Ass-hole" ...you get the idea.

So happy singing...and please tell all your friend about "The Cure" and how it's changed your life.

That'll be $12.87.

(We'll miss you Judes!)