"I get my thing in action (Verb!)
To be, to sing, to feel, to live (Verb!
That's what's happenin!)I put my heart in action (Verb!)To run, to go, to get, to give (Verb! You're what's happenin')
That's where I find satisfaction, yeah! (Yeah!)
To search, to find, to have, to hold
(Verb! To be bold)
When I use my imagination (Verb!)
I think, I plot, I plan, I dream
Turning in towards creation (Verb!)
I make, I write, I dance, I sing
When I'm feeling really active (Verb!)
I run, I ride, I swim, I fly!
Other times when life is easy
(Oh!) I rest, I sleep, I sit, I lie."
- "Verb - That's What's Happening" - School House Rock
I downloaded this off of iTunes, along with "Rufus Xavier Sarsarilla."
(If you don't know what that is...you still don't know what a "Pro-noun" is.
I'm sooo sure of this. Unless you're gay/bi...and you've played the pronoun-game to try and keep your closet door shut. Like..." THEY called me today. Or I called "them".)
Anyway..I made you sit through "Verb", because that's the theme to this thing.
I mean, change is really just about DOING it. Right?
(VERB! THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING!)
And as painful as it was...and as MUCH as I tried to procrastinate on each thing...I did it...well. Most of it. Here's how last week panned out.
Home:
Clean Kitchen: Five hours later...top to bottom. Mix matched pieces GONE. Cabinets organized. Life...better.
Fix One Thing Myself: (Actually, I haven't done this yet. Bad start..huh? Tonight. Pinkie swear.)
Buy Fresh Flowers: Check!(Even talked the guy down in price. Way to go...)
Cook at Home: Check. But those of you who know me know...that's not hard for me. Not at all. It's the staying home to COOK thing that was tough. But I did it.
Heart:
Call One Of My Sisters: So I emailed DE. And surprisingly enough, she responded immediately. (Not sure why I was surprised, but I was.) We set up some time to have brunch on Sunday. Cool. Very cool.
Send Dad A Thank You Card: OK. I emailed him too. It was just...easier. But I have to say..I STRUGGLED with it. The email went something like.. "Thanks for everything...though you really should learn not to be a dick."
And then it was "Would Jehovah brag about his Cadillac and make his daughter sleep on the floor?" ...but I swallowed all that. Just said thanks...left it at that. Hey.
It was big for me. BIG.
Delete Names From Cellphone: Now THIS shit was crazy. I really do make friends with anyone or anything. In my phone, now gone are...
-A professional gambler
-Someone I used to date who now HATES me because I cheated. (I didn't. We weren't a couple. Someone was in denial.)
-A friend who had a baby, and I haven't seen since. (We weren't awfully tight from jump.)
-A guy I went on a date with that was on the D.L. (Yes. I knew for sure.)
-A bouncer I met in a comedy club who was gonna "make me his wife". His voice was silky..but laced with a hint of "I'll beat your ass" when he couldn't find me. No thanks Ike.
- A party promoter. Actually, two of them.
- An acquaintance's brother who wanted to get hired.
- An Italian from Brazil.
- A co-worker I used to be cool with.
- My ex-F.Buddy's Crush. (Don't ask how her number got in my phone or why he put it in there. It's ugly Just don't ask.)
- My old next door neighbor in Bloomfield, NJ. (Nice guy, but he knows too much.)
- Lito's old jumpoff. Actually...three of em. (His phone broke down, they needed to get to him through me. Long story...)
- Last but no least...R.I.
Short story. I met R.I. in a bar (oh..shut up.)
But what should shock you ( a bit) is that he's 48 (I guess 50 right now..) short, and Jewish.
I was on a date with some guy that reminded me of Satan one night, and he slipped me his card via his female client. Cool points.
What followed was the, hands down, best winter I ever had being single.
Because NOTHING says lonely like being single in the winter. He fixed that.
We went out to dinner the first night and hit it off... played music for each other,laughed at movies... countless witty emails...but there was no attraction. NONE. Not even after drinking gentleman Jack and smoking the BEST good pot in the world. ($100 1/4 ounce...good. Delivered by Billy Joel's personal dealer. Oh. Yeah..he was friends with Billy Joel.)
I'd begin to avoid R.I. He was in love with me and...it just wasn't fair.
He was offering me keys to his apartment to just "crash" whenever I didn't want to go home...and I hadn't even invited him over to my place.
As expected..R.I. began to resent my offer of friendship.(Right after I re-enforced it when he tried to kiss me.)Finally, one morning, after spending a snowstormy-night at his place, I peeked at his stash of porn with titles like "Black Bootie #17" and "Chocolate Ass #32". He kept mentioning how disappointed he was in the storm. Knew for sure we'd be snowed in for days. Yeah...that was my cue.
He's a damn good guy though...and has a girlfriend now. Yeah. She's black.
Anyway..where was I?
Pro And Con Relationships: This one. Ouch. OUCH. One of them is gone for sure. I'll just let it ride into the sunset. No need to get dramatic. It is what it is. The other two...ouch. The truth is a bitch. Sorry. That's all I can say at this time. I may be able to get into later...maybe not, but it's amazing what a simple list can shake up inside. I can tell you that I'm honest about love right now. And like everything else in life...it's beyond your control.
FINANCE:
Leave Debit Card Home: Not every day. I was scared to. That's the truth. And I used it. More than once. I'll take out cash today, leave it home the rest of the week. I'm over my fear and I now know...I have no choice.
Get C.C. rates reduced: They laugh. They laugh long and hard.
Need a plan B.
Set up Auto-Bill Payment: Yep. It starts this week. OUCH.
Bring Lunch: Almost every day this week! I forgot one day...but hey. This saved me $40 this week.
Create A Budget: In doing this, I realize I'm spending more than I'm making. Which is CRAZY. I'm also spending a lot of money in text messaging. Switching phone plans to the cheapest...(again). I'll be paying all my bills on time this month. All of them. OUCH.
HEALTH:
Work Out Plan: That's right, put in work! Move my ass..go bezerk. Got it. Found an 8-week plan I used before (this 8 week thing seems to fix everything, doesn't it?)
Work Out At ONE Gym: Crunch. I'm falling in love with it.
Give Away HBO Locker: Scared to do this. Don't want them thinking I won't come back. It's the first step to letting go. Crunch is WINNING.
WHEW!!!!
Was that enough VERB! For you?
Now. THIS WEEK.
Week Three. Here are the goals.
HOME: -Flowers
-Mop/vacuum everything (every other week)
-Create an "outbox" and toss everything I don't: need/love/want
-Determine each room's style
- Cook at home twice.
HEART:
-Visit Mom (Haven't in a while. I know.)
-Invite (maternal) sisters over for dinner in the future.
-Call one friend I normally email.
-Call one of my aunts. (Start with Claudie. Just to say hi.)
-Tell one person (I've never told before) I love them.
-Meditate for ten minutes.
FINANCE: -Leave that Debit card HOME.
-Call Credit Union and ask about consolidating my C.C. debt.
-Bring lunch and snack (that's killing my money too.)
-Stick to new "$50 spending money" budget rule.
HEALTH: - Try one class I don't think I can do. (Dance class, for sure.
I hate making a fool of myself, so this is perfect.)
- Schedule session with my trainer. Maybe he can find a better way to banish my "Beyonce".
- Keep 3x Cardio/ 3x Strength alternating schedule.
-Nye
You know...I didn't think anyone was following me on this one, but I'll be damned! You ARE!
I've got to say...I've gotten some great feedback from all of you and thanks...
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