"The only way to change your story is to change what you believe about yourself. If you clean up the lies you believe about yourself, the lies you believe about everybody else will change. Every time you change the main character in your story, the whole story changes to adapt to the main character."
-Don Miguel Ruiz "The Voice Of Knowledge"
So I ran a 5K, as you know. Now... had I told my twenty-four year old self that I would have done that ...when I'm thirty-three... then I would have called myself a liar.
BOLD FACED LIAR.
But I did it. So I started thinking. It might be time to change some other things about myself...now that I'm sure I can do it. Change what? The things I don't like but have subscribed to.."that's just how I am." Which is bullshit.
But it starts by facing some truth. And that's scary. Besides...it just takes too much work to change. It takes commitment and determination. And the only time I have either is if you tell me I can't have something. Or can't do it. (Stubborn Aries.)
So I figure, there are four major areas of my life that I can improve upon, and you are welcome to take the journey with me.
Because I figure, if blogging the race process worked...shit. This has GOT to work.
Besides...it will ...AGAIN, give you some inside to my personal business. And I know you like to watch. I heard that about you.
THE FOUR CATEGORIES
I figure I'd start with the four categories and then break them down into sub-categories. These four? HEART, HOME, BODY, FINANCE.
All of these areas could use some serious help.
HEART
This encompasses family, friends, intimate relationships (not all intimate relationships are sexual...Nasty.) and my spirituality. Taking a good hard look at them, they are doing the same thing my credit score is doing. I'm paying the bill every month, but just the minimum. One false move and I'm in "secured credit" land.
HOME
I love my apartment. I fucking LOVE it. LOVE IT!! It's a beautiful, pre-war apartment, with high ceilings, plenty of light, overlooking the Hudson (in the winter..when the tree-leaves aren't in the way). My neighbors are friendly and fantastic. I love coming home. It's peaceful.
..until Wednesday.
On Wednesdays, all hell breaks loose. Clothes everywhere. Hair products (...this baffles me since I only use gel and a blow dryer.) Mail, magazines...Just...SHIT. EVERYWHERE. I clean once a week...Saturdays.
And I'm happy.
By Wednesday, however, if anyone just popped over for a visit, I'd be mortified.
Something must be done.
Not to mention the bedroom is only half decorated and two rooms sport "test" wall color that look like a ten year old was experimenting with a cup...a metric cup...of paint. Something. Anything...must be done.
BODY
I'm getting older. I know this. Happens every day. However, I'm not really respecting that. Things that are going into this body should be...must be ..modified. Or I'm going to look/feel like shit before I drop a kid. And I'm to understand that's supposed to be the the EXCUSE for looking like shit, isn't it? Anyway...I know the results of good living and bad. Seen em. With my own two eyes...(that aren't as strong as they used to be. HEAVY SIGH...)
Anyway. There's some fat I need to flush and some muscle that I need to gain. I know what to do. Just a matter of doing the damn thing.
FINANCE
Like I said, my credit is good, not GREAT, but hey. Apple is happy. So is Banana Republic. And Jet Blue. And AMC theaters, and Virgils and ... the list goes on.
I remember I USED to have a budget. And it was good. But one day, I got tired of feeling...poor and restricted and I scrapped the whole idea. Now, guess what? I'm REALLY poor and restricted. I saved more then, paid more bills ON TIME and had a happy...very happy credit score. Time to turn that shit around.
Also... my side hustle, which can bring in more dough. Writing.
Magazine articles. Shit like "The best way to look good in the bedroom." (Yes, writers do pull this out of their asses. You didn't fall for them in Cosmo...did you?) Anyway...speaking of Cosmo, they are paying $2 per word. Write a 250 word article and ...well..you do the math. Not a bad way to make some extra dough huh?
My fear? Rejection slips. Gonna get over that too.
SO...there you have it.
I've given myself EIGHT WEEKS to turn it all around. At the end of each week, I have had to accomplish a goal in each category. Sounds like a lot right? Sure. But hey...I ran a fucking 5K in three weeks time.
If I can do that...fixing the rest of my life should be a piece of cake, right?
...right.
THIS WEEKS GOAL: TRUTH & PURGE
This week, I have to be honest about all four areas, get rid of all the excess...and then I can start fresh.
HEART: First and foremost...any person that I deem as "poison", has to go. I can only identify these people by being impeccable with my word. The truth is always respected and through it, things will change. They have no choice. (See the above quote.)
HOME: I have to get rid of anything I don't NEED. This is going to be a bitch.
BODY: I must be honest about what I put in it. Keeping written track for this week, and being sure to work out to purge impurities.
FINANCE: I have to take a real look at my banking statement and see where I waste money. Think of ways to stop it.
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